Update. Next Publication is: Under Strange Suns, available digitally August 2015, print version due December 2015, Twilight Times Books.

Christmas? Already?

Well, crap. We’re already into the first week of December. That means Christmas is barreling down on us like an out of control sleigh careening down a ski slope. And I’m not ready yet.

The thing is, I’m usually on top of this. It isn’t uncommon for me to have completed Christmas shopping by the end of August. This year? That’d be a no.

We just finished putting up Christmas lights outside the house. A first for me. I’m truly a suburbanite now. I even bought a ladder. I suppose I should have fallen off of it to achieve the complete stereotypical experience. Sorry, no pratfalls for your amusement on this web log. Maybe next year I’ll get into an insane decorating competition with my neighbor and shenanigans will ensue. Christmas shenanigans.

There remains much to do. I don’t want to wait until the last moment to get the shopping and wrapping done. Mostly because I hate waiting in line at the post office (or anywhere else, for that matter, but mostly the post office.) So next weekend will see the Christmas grind: presents, wrapping, cards, and tree. Ah, yes, the tree. All the fun cursing as I trim those last few branches that prevent me from inserting the trunk into the tree stand. Then grappling with the tree and tree stand itself, maybe getting the tree to topple over on top of me a couple of times before I succeed in clamping everything into place.

I need a beer just thinking about it. Well, at least at that point I can turn proceedings over to MBW. Let her (with the non-assistance assistance of the HA) decorate the tree. So long as I remember to keep the stand topped off with water, we’ll be fine. (Why the hell must the cat drink from there instead of sticking with her usual toilet bowl pub crawl?)

How about the rest of you? Are your Christmas, Hanukkah, or Festivus preparations shaping up in a timely fashion?